Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Lists




My Dear Thrillerati,

The New York Times has some blog prompts for you, if you are at a loss for words..."500 Prompts". I have been doing uncharacteristic things like googling "blog prompts" because the words haven't been flowing. I set up this nice, new blog and...nothing. I mean, that's a lie, the words have been flowing, but it comes out as a torrent of complaints. Ok, here is what I have so far...ahem...

Things I Hate
by Hil Eldridge

1. Everything

Good, right?

I like to listen to calming, soothing ladies who talk about angels on the internet, and Doreen Virtue, one such lady, posted the above picture today. "Let Go Of Stress!" Just take a ride on your unicorn and refill your klonipin prescription, for fuck's sake. 

Things I Like
by Hil Eldridge

1. Unicorns
2. Klonipin

Good, again! Take that, New York Times!

3. this tattoo
 (from boredpanda.com )...


Gustav Klimt Tattoo

Click here for more Gustav Klimt inspired tattoos.

 4.when it isn't Christmastime

Can we just talk about how many things that I am supposed to like, I do not like, and I have to fake that I like? I do not like Christmastime. I do not like Christmas decorations. I do not like Christmas music. I do not like Christmas presents.  I do not like Christmas dinner. I DO like Christmas cookies. Christmas cookies are acceptable. With tea. Or coffee. From now on, Christmas will occur ONLY on Dec 25. We will wake up, stay in our new pajamas (did I forget to mention that we have new pajamas?), and have nice christmas cookies and tea. Or coffee. There will be a maximum of  three fresh pine boughs on the table, OR holly, NOT both. We will play Handel's "The Messiah". Then, it is over. 



5. not getting a pedicure

I don't know you. Don't touch my feet.


6.not cleaning house

I actually like my dust and my dirty dishes. It keeps people out of my house.


7. not getting really successful and/or
 photogenic people's christmas letters

What?

8. not Anne Geddes
Image result for anne geddes watermelon
Doesn't anyone wonder if this woman is profoundly disturbed? Get that baby out of that watermelon!

9. The Muppets
I like The Muppets.
Image result for The Muppets.



Love and Light,
Your friend,
Hil

9 comments:

  1. I'm writing erotica right now. (Not my usual venue, but a friend challenged me.) I like a lot of things, lol.

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  2. I would like to announce that I most definitely agree with you about Christmastime. An unpopular opinion, one I generally pretend not to have, and perhaps my idea differs a bit, but I agree nonetheless.

    I love this. I'm not the only one stuck on what to post. In fact, I believe you've inspired me. Perhaps I'll actually post something again soon.

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  3. Yes, but what is your opinion on cookies?

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  4. I, for one, am greatly relieved to see that The Muppets are on your "like" list.

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    Replies
    1. Even when I hate everything...there are always Muppets.

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  5. I'm with you on unicorns, Klonopin, that tattoo...basically everything but the pedicures. My dry and gross feet will need one come Springtime...or whenever my big toenail (that fell off after I jammed it by kicking the dishwasher when Grayson dropped my phone in the sink) finishes growing back out.

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    Replies
    1. I was going to say it is a southern thing, because people see more of your feet, but that's a lie. Everyone likes pedicures here, too.

      Delete