Happy Valentine's

love and light,
your friend,
Hil

Artist's Country Life

Good morning, Thrillerati! How are you, darlings? Are you getting ready for a new year? Many people think 2016 was a disaster, but for me, it was a pretty good, even-keeled year. Even-keeled is rare and wonderful in my world, and I appreciate it.

It snowed a bit yesterday, and the evening light was just magnificent. I was picking up Sequoia and her friend from working on theater sets at school, and we decided to take a drive and take some pictures. I pulled off to my favorite country road, Sleepy Hollow Rd, stopped the car, and we all jumped out with our various camera phones, into a field of christmas trees, to snap. The girls ran down the hill in the snow, giggling, as I opened the trunk and stood in the back of the car to get a higher angle. I got just ONE shot, and then my phone shut down! I started the car and started to drive away real slow and the girls ran up the hill, laughing, and jumped in! When I got the phone charged, I got to see my one shot....and I think it is a nice one! What do you think? We had so much fun, I might make this a "Thing We Do". Hop in the car and go on A Photography Adventure!

Bob has gone up to my parent's camp in the Adirondacks this year without us, and making it into a rustic Artist's Retreat. He brought our dogs, Norman and Kay with him, but Ladybug stayed with me because she does not like the cold. He is working on his graphic novel in the uninterrupted silence. It is going to be amazing when it is finished, but Bob is in an angry labor...he has ideas, but life is always getting in the way of his actually getting his pencil to paper. He hates everything that gets in the way of his drawing. He ONLY wants to draw. His friends are irritated that he won't hang out, drink beer and play guitars anymore. I don't think there will be any more of that until the novel is done.

I stayed home with the kids, and I suffer from the opposite problem as Bob...total lack of motivation. I'm hibernating. I'm forming a relationship with a giant tin of christmas popcorn.

"Which is the best, cheese, plain, or the caramel popcorn? Well, we will have to do a fair and scientific study. One of those, one of those, one of those...now, wait,hold on, I'm not sure... start over. True science needs a wide sample!"

Even the blogging words are slow coming, and when I have an excellent stretch of time when I should be painting...nothing. Oh well, I allow myself to recharge. I pretty much ALWAYS feel creative, so this is an odd one.



Nevie got into the paint, yesterday, while watching a show about human anatomy. Her reentry into our world has not been an easy one. She isn't used to things not being perfect...the faucet drips, and there is mud in the yard. Something happened just before our Christmas party, and one electric zone in the house stopped working. Old house. Things happen. At school, there is a staff and a budget that allows for any imperfection to be immediately rectified. Meals magically appear. Bathrooms clean themselves. In our world, broken shit stays broken, dirty or messy until you put the work in to fix it. Also, dog hair does not happen at boarding school. I think Nevie will be very happy when vacation is over.

Can you find Ladybug?

 Loving you into 2017!

Love and light,
Your friend,
Hil

Snow on A Saturday

How are you, Sweet Thrillerati? 
It snowed last night here in Rednecktopia, giving off a spectacular quality of sparkling light. Baby Kay didn't want to come inside, and Bob was chasing her all over the yard trying to get her. I rose early, made a pot of coffee, did the dishes, and started writing some holiday cards. I don't think I ever sent cards before, but this year I have cards made with my paintings printed on them, and I feel so special about them!

My health hasn't been awesome, and my heart just feels like hamburger in my chest all the time. I've been in the house too much, and everything feels hard when my health is repairing. Rest is done alone in quiet house, and the whole word goes on while I hide in my burrow. Everything seems to stab me...the dogs jumping on me, walking on my ankle, news on my facebook feed, violence on tv,  thoughts of the past, thoughts of the future, thoughts of the present. I have no skin.

 I had the fearful thought,"What if my heart ALWAYS hurts, forever? What if this is just what I am now? Maybe it is time to quit trying to be something different and just accept." Maybe I will just be a hurting woman, and there is no pill, no diet, no lifestyle change, no meditation that will change me. Maybe I am what I am. Is there a use for that kind of woman? Is it okay to be that? In reality, some people just never get over shit, and maybe I'm one, and the expectation of me to jump up like a Power Ranger and "Be Whole!" can just be put to rest. A lot of spiritually and physically damaged people have done a lot of things, right? But that doesn't mean that they were healed. They still hurt. I have a tattoo of a woman sewing her severed arm back on. That metaphor still is how I feel.

I work to make my world more gentle. Gentle animals, gentle blankets, gentle toasted cheese on gluten-free bread, gentle green juice, gentle music, gentle chores...a little bit at a time, and then rest.
I pray all the time for the entire world. The political situation is just blowing my mind, but so are my liberal friends who feel like we should always be safe and comfortable, a part of a working, fair system, with lights working and clean water flowing, unracist, unxenophobic, uncorrupt. Upheaval and instability are a cyclical part of life, and we will have to persevere, again. Most people are living with a blanket that doesn't cover both their head and their feet, and my comfortable friends are somewhat oblivious. We are all one. We live on too small a planet to bomb one side and think the other side is protected by a literal or metaphorical "wall". We can't starve one side and send the other to top private universities. We can't hate one religious cult, while being devoted to our own religious cult. Whatever we do to another, we do to ourselves. Do you know the story of Buddha looking over the wall? In my opinion, we all need to wake up to the suffering of others. Imagination is not only about creating stories and art, imagination is also a key component of compassion.

(((rant rant rant))) It is my blog, I can rant if I want to. :)



If I creatively crop my photos, I can make my house look totally tidy!

Love and light,
Your friend,
Hil