Digging Holes and Filling Them With Water

Hello, Thrillerati! I have written a bunch of stuff lately, and not published it. Don't worry, you aren't missing any epiphanies. Nevie told me recently that all I want to do is make our family appear perfect on my blog, and that put a choke on my flow. Do I try to make us appear perfect? I mean, we are perfect in that greater cosmic sense, but not in a Pinteresty, look at our mason-jar breakfasts, our good hair, and our matching outfits way, do I? I don't know. It is the kind of thing that you absolutely cannot think about if you want to write.

So, Nevie is off in the world. This week, she will be appearing in "The Fiddler On The Roof" and I got an email that they are having a cast party on Sunday, and could I contribute food, or something. Well, I'm not invited to the play, Nevie still isn't talking to me, I don't live near the school, I won't be going to the cast party, I'm sad about it, and they have to send me emails to make me feel bad. So, I went on Amazon, and sent Nevie a five lb box of gummy bears for her party.

FIVE POUNDS OF GUMMY BEARS.

Yeah, I've got it all together.

Five pounds of gummy bears of unrequited love.

I keep trying to tell myself that it will all work out, but then again...I know a lot of adults that still hate their mothers.

And...this is why I can't paint. I can't paint, I can't draw, everything sucks, artistically, because my heart is broken.

So, I've got a different project. I'm making this teen art program for God knows what reason. My friend said,"Why don't you make an art class?" and I said,"Okay." Seriously. That's it.

Everything is so structured here, especially for the kids. God, if they knew what my childhood was like, riding bikes five miles from home, gone all day with no parental supervision. Playing in dirt, spitting, pushing each other, lighting things on fire in empty lots, digging giant holes and filling them with water and trying to push each other into said hole. These kids today are constantly overseen by overseers and, consequently, they don't think for themselves.

I want my art class to be a little taste of unstructured creativity with the greater intention of trying to crack these brains into THOUGHT. Thanks a lot, other adults, for beating down the little spirits into obedient little robot sheep.

#doandroidsdreamofelectricsheep

I went to the dollar store and bought thirty dollars worth of make up, which is a lot from the dollar store, for my first art class. I hope somebody shows up to this thing, because what am I going to do with $30 of dollar store makeup. IhopesomebodyshowsupIhopesomebodyshowsupIhopesomebodyshowsup.

Bob just said,"If You Build It, They Will Come."

lols

Love and light,
Your friend,
Hil